HOW NOT TO PICK UP A WOMAN
Do not expect a relationship out of women you speak to like you deserve one. This is usually why Nice Guys (tm) whine about how they're sooooo nice but women won't have sex with them! It's because when you act nice to get in our pants, we can smell it on you, you stupid fuck. If you are interested in someone romantically, make no false pretenses about it. Otherwise, expect friends. Friendships can turn into relationships. Friendships can also stay friendships. Friends can ALSO turn into enemies when you manipulate or guilt someone because they aren't interested in you.
This is not how you get a woman's number:
'Can I have your number?'
Because I said you can't.
Since you, my friend, are the one who is interested and is attempting to initiate, give YOUR number. No-one can be sure that you aren't fucking insane. Then again, you can't be sure that they are not, but you're the one who wanted to talk to them. Give your number on a card, and explain that if the person you are pursuing would like to talk more, that this is the way to contact you. I also recommend adding an email address, since it's also a popular way to get in touch with someone. They may call you. They may not. That is their right.
This is not how to give a compliment to someone that you do not know or have said merely a handful of sentences to:
+ Out the window of your car while you're drunk, shouting that you'll offer a woman money for a blowjob.
+ Beginning with a condescending pet name, like 'Sweetheart,' 'Baby,' 'Sugar,' or my favourite, 'Toots.' IN THE CONTEXT OF SOMEONE YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW, it sounds incredibly condescending. Sorry.
+ Ending with a blatant stare anywhere that is not the face. If your intention is to have sex instead of make conversation, at least make no false pretenses. I think the reason people do this is because they think that if they make their intentions clear, women won't speak to them. That's right, many won't. But trying to be sneaky about it MAKES YOU AN ASSHOLE, and besides, we tend to notice anyway. At least be honest, it makes baby Jesus smile (and for the record, I have spoken to men in a way that I wasn't a creepy douchebag but made it clear that all I wanted was sex. It's workable).
How not to get a woman's attention:
+ Following her around town
+ Yelling, 'HEY, NICE TITS!'
How not to gain a woman's trust:
+ Touching her without permission
+ Trying to persuade her into coming into your home when she has refused to already
Guys, you don't just go around fucking touching people. In a world where 1 in 8 college aged women is raped USUALLY BY SOMEONE THEY KNOW ON SOME LEVEL, you are not doing anyone any good by doing that. Many women are uncomfortable with going into the home of someone they don't know that well. Insisting on taking a woman home with you does not make you seem accomadating or nice. It makes you look creepy. Don't like having to change your behavior because of the 1 in 25 men who rape? Do something about rape so that we're not on our own trying to stop it.
Basically, this is the most important rule:
'NO' IS AN ANSWER AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IT. Don't worry, babe, we know what we want and what's good for us without your help. If we don't want to give you our number, that's our business. If we don't want to talk to you anymore, don't follow us around. Hopefully, you get the idea.